i shunned the camera
and he loved it
this was empowerment
i was in control

my shoulders were shelled
with scratchy gauze
that cascaded with wiry
precision over
my body

naked lightbulbs
a constellation of sorts
hung around
heating up slowly
pulling beads of
sweat from my
chest and
beneath my eyes

i fanned out the wings
in all
of their cheap grandeur
and braided endless curves
into the lens

i felt better with the price tags
lying around

his equipment cost

seventeen thousand
dollars

and his work was up
semiperminently
on some very important

walls

it didnt matter what came later
the empty conversation
between me and
the only lover i had ever bothered to
treat well


the jealousy i would feel
of all the
other girls who had
removed clothes
with wit
swaying in their
dragonette eyes
and danced before that
golden lens

peaceful and afraid
much like myself

afraid that their mother’s
would see the photos
or their boyfriends;
and that those sacred eyes
would linger
pining over imperfections
that had never been made
so clear

jealous because I was only one
in a dozen
supple hearts
who had been unwound
like a tick from
my very
own body

and placed
in a corner
to watch
from afar