When I was small and quiet, reserved, demure and sad
And I sat alone with my thoughts, watching,
I didn’t know you. You who were a wish of the future,
Not real. You were miles from me and robed in black doubt.

At fifteen I found the truthful facts of me. I detached
From reality. I brooded and drowned in my truth.
You were not yet there.

At sixteen I found those who taught me to swim.
I swam out of my self-imposed desolation.
To find you. Not knowing at the time what you’d be.
You were now present but out of reach and out of want.

A year later, everything has changed. After, rejection,
Abandonment, love and hate. All the unseen sides now shown.
Now four fortnights have passed. This winter isn’t as harsh
As the ones I remember. Many days take me to spring.
I see colors brighter now than before. Do you?
Each breath breathes deeper and tells me this is no thaw.
Have you breathed deeper this winter?
Seen brighter?
Tell me when your senses reach chaos moreover,
And I will go with you where they lead.