Every time I come close to accepting it it's like something pulls be back every time.
& **** let me tell you it is the worst feeling
it is the worst ******* feeling to be unwanted by someone who used to want you more than anything.
& im tired of randomly crying
& im tired of even trying
because nothing matters without you.
at least that's how it feels at 2 in the morning when my thoughts get the best of me.
I didn't think it would be this hard to let go
this hard to accept
& to u I know I look fine
I know I put on my facade
because I would much rather deal with things internally than let you know how much us really affected me.
I would rather not give u the satisfaction of knowing how much I really do care.
but oh
how miserable.