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Sep 2015
Im losing grip
on what I want
who I want
and why I want it
My conscience's hand
is climbing a mountain
but its slipping
ever-weakening
Ive gone through many
Life experiences
only to find that
they are either
false or fake.
nothing is real anymore
nothing has substance
life is taking a turn
for the worst
and I don't know if my mind can hold on
Ive wanted this life for as long as i can remember.
but my mind is letting go
my heart cant stand
anymore pain
I have to find the good in the smallest things
while everyone else can find it wherever.
I got a girl that keeps me waiting
and Im a lonely boy
i have time for no one
because the man calls me
he says get your weak
lazy
*** off that chair and go to work
but only when we can afford you
when will it become the other way?
when will I start eating right again
when will I go to sleep at a reasonable hour
when will people stop ignoring me
and care for me as much as I care for them
when will this hole in my chest fill
Why is there a hole in my chest?!
People dont
genuinely care about you.
The "I dont give a ****" people
are taking over
and the "Let me help you" people
are dying off
What happened to courtesy
what happened to respect.
most importantly what happened to communication
I am guilty of it too.
but nothing like the fools of my generation
im losing grip
on what i thought i was preparing myself for my whole life:
being a good person
its getting harder and harder
Im beginning to understand how people can go so crazy
how the world can bring you down so much
that all you want to do is destroy
destroy until one day all those pieces
magically reappear
even though you know they wont.
Im losing grip on how to live a real life.
On how to talk to people without using lol or ***
On how anyone in this world can afford to take care of themselves
let alone another person
Im losing grip on all the things i wanted to become
and things i wanted to do.
the fingers of my mind slipping off the cliff
falling
ever falling
Alex Paul
Written by
Alex Paul  M/Kansas
(M/Kansas)   
386
   mickey finn
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