The flames that stick
The lies that lick
Ten and six years have gone
And yet only now I begin
To find the truth
In scars among the ashes
You hand me truth on a silver platter
Yet you cross your fingers
That the hideous stain on the underside
Will scamper out of sight
The truths have for four less a score
Been the threshold
Of what I thought was real
You raised me in a bed of flowers
And never bothered to remove the paint
As the petals turned to lead
The leaded falsehoods,
The poisons that corrupted,
I wasted my years
Building among the ruins
What I thought was true
Only to have reality
Eat my lungs out
Nothing seems different
Yet nothing is the same
You don’t know I know
You don’t know I’ve forgiven you
You don’t know that the truth of your secret
Eats me alive.
The worst part?
No one can know
Lest war should break out
So what do I do
Now that the lies
Which provided the foundation
Of the reality upon which I grew
Have been exposed?
Where do I run
When I am imprisoned
With nowhere to hide
In the Hell you expect me to call home?
The bane of my childhood,
These bitter truths,
The ones you have forced me
To realize on my own,
They’ve induced
Humiliation and pain,
Rage and suffering,
Disappointment and shame,
In the dignity of the trust
That was once nearing two decades in the making.
But behind even the darkest veil
Doth the bittersweet cloud hide a silver lining.
Thus it’s been concluded:
Neither in this dwelling,
Nor in that of another,
Not even in this world
Lies my home.
Alas, it seems
All mankind is homeless
Lest he find the satisfyingly loving Presence;
That which can be found
Not by sight, nor sound,
Neither touch, nor smell, nor taste.
Still the remarkable untruths of the past remain
They smolder and glare and snicker and jeer
As they burn my heart out
The silver soothes ever so slightly
Only to maintain balance minimal
Equilibrium numbs the agony ever so gently
Yet as I hack out the blood
While your jagged sword is drawn ever so slowly
From the feebly thumping organ which in my bosom resides,
The toxic smoke of your despicably blatant lies lingers on…