Into the ocean, into the deep
Into the darkness, down I sweep
Into my mind these dark thioughts seep,
Taking the only luxury I keep.
Reserved and restrained, lost in plain sight
Not hidden by familiar shadows,
Rather a dull gray shade that falls upon me.
Insights to a past life through ink on paper,
Forgotten in mourning, focused on what is not
What is not there, no one seems to care.
Not wasting a life in grasping,
Reaching for what was lost, what was taken away
Never a release, just holding
Onto past lives lost in love, holding
Onto the same feelings,
The same highs and lows
Live life searching, looking for a new love,
Not the mundane pain that is welcomed now.
The silver lining, showing through the dark clouds
Swarming thicker, all around me
Confused feelings are surrendered
Through the passing of a note from my hands to yours.
Never regained, never the same
Uncertainty kills, and ignorance blinds, yet it heals
Built up to be broken down in cycle
Endless or so we think.
Suprises numb, knowledge strains,
Difference cuts
Through the veil that makes you think
Everything’s all right.
Not for long now, not as long as we think.
Pain strengthens, then hope lifts us higher
Only to fall lower, though never quite reaching
Not touching the bottom, the deepest of ourselves
Unchecked they run, freely so they think
The assurances of constant safety
It all disappears
In the end
When none of it matters anymore
You realize that it did
And more than you know.
Beautiful music, heard no longer
No longer shining, fallen to the ground
Welcome the pride, fall from grace
Fade into the night, pained by the darkness
Never really goodbye,
Pained by the absence
Of your voice in my head
Of your face in my eyes
Yet I do it in vain
And I remember the pain,
The highs and the lows
The sighs and the “no’s”
Of a love thought endless
There for me no more,
Chilled to the bone, frozen to the core
Broken down inside, never waking up,
You were there in the void.
The darkness of my mind
Is made more so by the absence of you in my life
More than you know