After you, there was nothing else to feel.
You tore me apart, my spirit and my body,
leaving me bleeding in a way I couldn’t change.
Bruises riddle my arms, thighs and face
and shame clouds my perception of the world.
A part of my insides dies with my innocence.

I am now a vessel--from filth creating innocence
I am confused about how I am supposed to feel.
Is joy the emotion for bringing life to this world?
The bruises fade but pain still riddles my body.
When I sleep I’m haunted by your face.
I hate what is in me the more my body changes.

Each month I grow and can’t deny the change
that gives away the loss of my innocence.
They tell me this tiny monster has a face-
probably one like yours. The thought makes me feel
like vomiting. Even Momma beats my body.
She doesn’t want this monster in this world.

I have nowhere left to go in the whole world.
Of course this is the same as yesterday. No change.
I am not the only one disgusted with my body.
You ravished the very essence of my innocence.
Does anyone else understand how it feels
to be rejected by even your fathers’ face?

I want to tear off your face.
I want to scream to the whole world
but instead I am silent and numb without feeling.
My own father kicked me out without any change
for the bus. He, too, forgot I was innocent.
You stole my family along with my body.

This thing inside me is yours-- this body
whose face is a tiny mirror of your nasty face.
For all I care, it is born without innocence
and should be removed, with you, from the world.
Nothing anyone says can make that change.
I refuse to feel.



I no longer know the meaning of the word innocent.
Violent shudders rattle through my body

I can’t take any more pain or feeling!
I hate that tiny face.

Today I brought your monstrosity into the world
but in your own world not a thing changed