I had always hoped that I would get better, and I'd be able to go a day without thinking about death or crying or thinking about hurting myself. These days come and go, and I guess more or less I'm better than I've been. It's become easier to stare at the sun and actually be able to feel the warmth on my skin. It's become easier to breath, and maybe one day I won't want to die anymore. I can keep hoping all of these things come true and I can keep wishing I'll be better. What I'm trying to say is that I'm done wishing and hoping for change. My emotions are my own and I'm going to grab it by it's throat and tell it to cooperate. I'm done suffering. I'm done feeling this way. I will tie it to a tree and leave it out in the woods if I have to. This is my life, and I'm going to start living it.