Lately, I was feeling like I was going through life on autopilot.
Not really seeing, not really feeling.
Barely scratching the surface,
I was cold and numb.
My eyes were open, but nothing was being seen,
Nothing was registering or being recognized.
I was hearing all the little background noises, but I was so used to them that everything beautiful became dust.
Every voice was white noise.
I felt used, wasted, worthless, unclean.
Like I had broken all the little laws that keep my world revolving,
I was spinning, I was downward-spiraling,
I was fried.
But something was shaking me and my heart was breaking me
And I woke up on a fault line.
I woke up.
I woke up.
I'm awake.
And I see everything.
I feel everything.
In technicolor.
I'm not sure how, and I don't know how, and I don't know why at all.
I don't know why now, I don't know and I don't understand.
But I'm awake again, and I'm walking on purpose.
I'm breathing voluntarily.
I'm smiling because, somehow, I rediscovered how.
Do I understand?
Not even a little bit.
But,
I'm awake again.