and i sat there,
alone im your company
on two chairs
in a dingy cheap restaurant  
watching

you.

your blue rimmed hazelnut eyes
ticking around
surveying, tallying, everything.
everything that wasn't me.
the beige monotony of the floors, ceiling and walls.
lino, plastic, sterile, lustless.
the ethnically transplanted food and workers,
cooking distaintly behind to doorway
sweating their ambitions out in the steam gushing out like blood from their childhood pipeline dreams.

me

my eyes
searching for a flicker of affection
not even love.
mere company?
a loneliness cure?
quicksand that you can't back out of now?

in my eyes a canyon of unspoken truths and  uncertainty gaps across the table.
the weeded arguments  budding their
ugly discordant leaves among the flora.
the canyon swallows my nerves and leaves them to plummet,
down into the blackhole, where the rest of me will go.
is this bad karma for all the string-boys i kept?
that i would become your string-girl!

bearing baskets of love
terrifying, alien love.
only to be haunted by your gaze.

your ticking gaze.
    
             ticking time bomb.

searching for an escape root?
                as i fall into you.