this isn't for you
the nights I've spent on the floor
trying to collect thoughts
not even I understand
this isn't for you
the days I dread waking up
trying to even get out of bed
not even catching my own breath
this isn't for you
the urge to slit my wrist
trying to make it through the day
not able to sleep at night
this isn't for you
the depression I've collected myself in
trying to find myself out
not able to see past the pain
this isn't because of you
this is because of what I allowed you to do, to me