keep
the black hole,
the cherry pit

of self loathing
tucked neatly
away
at the back of your throat,
beneath

your tongue and
for god’s sake
don’t let it slip
from behind your teeth and
into your
speech-
when you
do, everything
after
is slurred and
*****.

so keep.
keep the self loathing-
away.

keep it at the bottom
of your pocket
and let it
sink
into the holes of your jeans along with
your house key and
your lighter and
the spare pills.

keep this feeling
in the folded palm of
your hand.

keep pretending
like none of this
bothers
you
until you can taste
the cyanide
in all the cherry pits
you’ve been choking yourself
on.

but don’t ever
try to pretend
that no one ******* loves
you
when you know they do

and keep yourself
together
long enough
to realize
how wrong
they were.