it’s been a few weeks now,
since i last 
played poker

and i’m starting
to miss it,

as childish

as that sounds,

i miss it being my only thought when i woke up, my only thought

when i went to sleep,

how it always use to be
the main topic

of a conversation, of an argument,

i miss how it made me feel, the winning days,

the losing days,

they’ve all become a blur now, and its not the
happiness or depression that i miss,

but the feelings,

they seem so rare now,

maybe i’m just

a 
*******
degenerate, or maybe
i’m just human