It's this emptiness
the feeling of being
punched in the stomach

Not once
                  but every every every every every every every
moment

the skin on my eyelids is
raw

        I want to just
close them  

              and rest

from the pain
       and the (dull screaming)
ness of my headaches
and my
******* sinus infections

and my sore heels
from stepping on the
glass shards

from the window I had to break.

I wish I could blame
you

but the truth is

I slit my own wrists

this time

               and I'm
dealing with this pain
          alone

              I'm feeling it
until this pit

either shrinks
              or disappears

or until you come back



it's all my fault.