Sep 2015
i. I want you to love me when the black line over my eyelid is gone and when my hair lays full of tangles on my shoulders. You never cared if I brushed it or not, so I didn't. It always fell naturally. (I think I did the same with you.)
ii. I want you to love me when the toothpaste doesn't make my mouth in time before we wake. (Morning breath is part of what Love is.)
iii. I want you to love me when the only thing on my body is your old T-shirt from tenth grade because I'm still tinier than you. (I swear I'll take care of it for you.)
iv. I want you to love me when the coffee stain finds its way onto my lips right before you lean over to kiss me good afternoon baby. Coffee dates will be a must. You can order something else, I'll drink the coffee. (But I'll make you try it.)
v. I want you to love me when the television is low and the rain is pouring onto the earth outside at five in the evening, and I sit at the kitchen table wondering why hearts are broken. (I can't remember if you like rain or not.)
vi. I want you to love me when we drive to everywhere and nowhere, and your hand finds its way onto my thigh. I'll take a photograph of your profile and pin it to my bedroom wall. I'm going to photograph you a lot, most of the time not telling you. Expect to find some leftover filled disposals in your room. (Or empty film rolls.)
vii. I want you to love me when we drink too much after making dinner together in the kitchen at midnight, because we were never good with timing. Alcohol makes things smoother. (Don't get addicted.)
viii. I want you to love me after you come home from work with tired feet and knots in your back as your forehead drips with sweat. (I'll help you clean up.)
ix. I want you to love me when I run away in broad daylight, hoping to get rid of the thoughts I have in my mind, because you know I have the tendency to run away from things that hurt. But I will come back eventually. (I always do.)
x. I want you to love me after I kiss you for the first time. After I let you in. After I tell you about my childhood and how I love my Nana and Poppi. After i speak to you in a different language, leaving you to ponder what I said. After my favorite songs are played, after we have a song, after we watch movies in bed cuddling. After I fall asleep next to you. After I push you away for the first time. After you realize how wild and unpredictable I am. After you realize how big my heart is because you will notice the mountains I move for you and you will notice the way I pay attention to everything. After you recognize the fact that I love the little things. After you pick me up and kiss me. After I stay silent around you and you know the reason for my closed mouth because you know my mind is racing in a self-polemic way. I want you to love me after we go on our first date. After you meet my parents. After I win over your mother. After we spend holidays together. After we take candids of one another. After we tell strangers about each other. After I fathom that you aren't going to leave.
- (I want you to love me.)
// {m.j.}
8.23.15.
1:45am.
ii. I want you to love me when the toothpaste doesn't make my mouth in time before we wake. (Morning breath is part of what Love is.)
iii. I want you to love me when the only thing on my body is your old T-shirt from tenth grade because I'm still tinier than you. (I swear I'll take care of it for you.)
iv. I want you to love me when the coffee stain finds its way onto my lips right before you lean over to kiss me good afternoon baby. Coffee dates will be a must. You can order something else, I'll drink the coffee. (But I'll make you try it.)
v. I want you to love me when the television is low and the rain is pouring onto the earth outside at five in the evening, and I sit at the kitchen table wondering why hearts are broken. (I can't remember if you like rain or not.)
vi. I want you to love me when we drive to everywhere and nowhere, and your hand finds its way onto my thigh. I'll take a photograph of your profile and pin it to my bedroom wall. I'm going to photograph you a lot, most of the time not telling you. Expect to find some leftover filled disposals in your room. (Or empty film rolls.)
vii. I want you to love me when we drink too much after making dinner together in the kitchen at midnight, because we were never good with timing. Alcohol makes things smoother. (Don't get addicted.)
viii. I want you to love me after you come home from work with tired feet and knots in your back as your forehead drips with sweat. (I'll help you clean up.)
ix. I want you to love me when I run away in broad daylight, hoping to get rid of the thoughts I have in my mind, because you know I have the tendency to run away from things that hurt. But I will come back eventually. (I always do.)
x. I want you to love me after I kiss you for the first time. After I let you in. After I tell you about my childhood and how I love my Nana and Poppi. After i speak to you in a different language, leaving you to ponder what I said. After my favorite songs are played, after we have a song, after we watch movies in bed cuddling. After I fall asleep next to you. After I push you away for the first time. After you realize how wild and unpredictable I am. After you realize how big my heart is because you will notice the mountains I move for you and you will notice the way I pay attention to everything. After you recognize the fact that I love the little things. After you pick me up and kiss me. After I stay silent around you and you know the reason for my closed mouth because you know my mind is racing in a self-polemic way. I want you to love me after we go on our first date. After you meet my parents. After I win over your mother. After we spend holidays together. After we take candids of one another. After we tell strangers about each other. After I fathom that you aren't going to leave.
- (I want you to love me.)
// {m.j.}
8.23.15.
1:45am.
