I doubt myself
but wonder
why

I think:
why do I think I will fail?

logos, nor ethos,
nor examination of the
past leads me to this
road and yet

I doubt myself
and wonder
why

I question myself
and ask questions like
what are you talking
about
what are your reasons
what is your purpose

but I do not answer,
I cannot answer,
the answers are locked
deep in tombs my conscious
does not even realize exist

they stand deep with my mind,
begging me to find them, open
their doors and release secrets
so that they may wither and
die in the sunlight

they doubt me,
asking
why

why not let us loose?
why do you ignore us?
why do you not find us
in the dark places you know
we are?
why are we alone?
why are we in the basement?
why are we starving for the
sight of ears and for the power
to destroy and/or create?
why are dying?

let us loose they say

my hand reaches the lock
but trembles in mid-air

I doubt myself
but wonder
why