I know it’s not all gone
I still feel it in me
Corrupting all my hard work.

I have to
Have to
Have to get it out
All of it. Leave!

Why did I have to cave in to temptations of my organs.
Temptations of my flesh, it swells with the delight of its trickery
Making me think that just a moment of pleasure would be okay
Wouldn’t stick

It’s okay, you look alright today, she said.
Go ahead, just a bite
Now a few more, you won’t regret it
Sweet, sweet nourishment, dropping like lead in my stomach
And showing through my front
Bulging out on all sides and distorting my figure
I cried to her, You said I’d be okay! You promised I’d be fine.

She whispers back, Oops, I guess I was wrong
You’re not strong enough to just take one
You’re weak. Pathetic and weak. What would you do without me to yell
Scream, Now get rid of it.
Pathetic and groveling I crawl forward on my hands and knees, kissing her feet
My lips come back with bile at my teeth.
Not that easy though, she beats me, pummeling my stomach
Choking my lungs and nose, tearing at my throat like talons

Wiping the acid from my lips and the blood from my nose
With the back of my hand
I choke out a hoarse pleading whimper,
Can I be done yet? Am I finally done?
Mia laughs and caresses my face, leans down to whisper in my ear

I’ll never be done with you.

The whip cracks and again I crawl forward, shackles dragging behind me
Sobbing and grateful.