Never have I ever
stalled a fire,
But I have been
cheated on with friends
embarrassed and
called a ******* liar.

Never have I ever
installed a light switch,
But I have dated
a couple pychopaths
and most recently
a real *****.

Never have I ever
laid down with a ******,
But I have had
two pet fish once
until I drowned them both
in dish detergent.

Never have I ever
listened very well
But I have spent
a year in isolation,
living in a buried Hell.

Never have I ever
spoke a dishonest word
But I have been borne
up by an eagle and
I swear I scream just
like a bird.