like smoke and flame and all the things that people always say and about how “where there’s smoke there’s fire” and how it’s difficult to decide which to be or become and if one is really better than the other no one ever tells you that life can (and probably will) kick the living **** out of you for as long as you’ll let it no one ever talks about how heavy your soul and insides can get if you allow yourself the time in the dark and how you’ll get to a certain age when you look around and want to scream at anyone who will listen, anyone older than you “where the **** were you?” “where the **** have you been!?” and “why didn’t you say?” “why didn’t you tell me what to do?” “or how to be?” “how in hell could you let me decide for myself… when i knew absolutely nothing… about anything!!?” “where were you?” and you’ll feel like drowning or something simple you’ll feel like just the air in your lungs just the breath in your lungs is enough like smoke or flame and all the things that people say can never stack up to all that they don’t