Sep 2015
Anxiety
When the darkness builds up inside of you minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year you feel like it will never end. Anxiety is a disease that eats away at you slowly and painfully. Imagine your worst nightmare just replaying itself day after day. You know that feeling when you have a huge important test to take but you haven’t studied enough and you feel like it’s the end of the world because you can’t fail the test but you know you’re going to? Now imagine feeling that feeling every second of every day. Every now and then someone comes along and temporarily helps make that pain and darkness go away. You meet that one person that just takes you’re mind off of it all for just a couple of hours. It gives you a feeling of worth, a feeling of strength and confidence that I can win this battle. But like everything in your ****** life it all goes to ****. Mainly because you’re just insane and no one understands you. You know it’s all your fault but there’s nothing you can do about it. Now that temporary escape from reality is gone plus the sadness of losing someone just adds onto your pain. Now you’re back to constantly struggling plus you’ve added a little bit more to you’re dark cloak that is increasingly consuming you day by day. “For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” but now that joy ain’t cometh in the morning anymore. People always try to tell you it can’t be that bad but actually yeah it can be that bad. I constantly feel like I have to apologize but eventually you realize apologies do nothing. You keep telling yourself maybe you’ll feel better soon but then you realize… you’ve been telling yourself that for years now.
When the darkness builds up inside of you minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year you feel like it will never end. Anxiety is a disease that eats away at you slowly and painfully. Imagine your worst nightmare just replaying itself day after day. You know that feeling when you have a huge important test to take but you haven’t studied enough and you feel like it’s the end of the world because you can’t fail the test but you know you’re going to? Now imagine feeling that feeling every second of every day. Every now and then someone comes along and temporarily helps make that pain and darkness go away. You meet that one person that just takes you’re mind off of it all for just a couple of hours. It gives you a feeling of worth, a feeling of strength and confidence that I can win this battle. But like everything in your ****** life it all goes to ****. Mainly because you’re just insane and no one understands you. You know it’s all your fault but there’s nothing you can do about it. Now that temporary escape from reality is gone plus the sadness of losing someone just adds onto your pain. Now you’re back to constantly struggling plus you’ve added a little bit more to you’re dark cloak that is increasingly consuming you day by day. “For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” but now that joy ain’t cometh in the morning anymore. People always try to tell you it can’t be that bad but actually yeah it can be that bad. I constantly feel like I have to apologize but eventually you realize apologies do nothing. You keep telling yourself maybe you’ll feel better soon but then you realize… you’ve been telling yourself that for years now.
