How sad it is to be anything at all. How sad it is to love anything at all, to leave it all behind. And laying with your heart beside mine, I wonder, have our souls ever crossed paths before? I think of all the nights I wondered the streets as a zombie, or perhaps a vampire at that. Searching for anyone to suck the life out of so I could regain my own.
How sad it is to walk through a door and hear the clicking of the lock behind you.
How sad it is to wish death upon myself so I will never have to love again.
But, I do know better this time.
You could cut off my limbs and I would still find a way to fill these pages.
I hunger only for written words, and to hold and be held in return.
It would be so much easier to look at you through closed eyelids, than to see your broken eyes.
The look of a lost child, it takes one to know one.
I wish I could show you what I see
Much more than pathless woods or virgin hearts
But, a bond I have built with the stars.
I love my stars just as I love my sister.
Even after they die, I can still see them shining bright.
I am aware that one by one, their light will no longer be; I'll have to survive the night on my own.
I envy the strength of the stars, possibly even hate. In the darkest of times, they shine to bright. Perhaps to taunt me for the nights I hid in the shadows of streetlamps.
Where are you?
Not physically.
Release the strings of your heart.
Where are you?
Push it. More. More. Make it hurt. Leave your body under the covers next to mine.
Where are you now?
Think of the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.
Where are you now?
What do you feel?
I should hurt, it should not hurt.
Run. Run. Run.
Faster. Faster. Faster.
Where are you now?
Where am I?
Ashes upon ashes.
Not beneath the ground, but in the air that wrapped around our summer skin.
Why?
Because I was with you.
It was a disgusting happiness,
and I jumped before it could drop me.
Where am I now?
In the stars.
I can see your teary eyes searching for my light.
But I had loved you all along.
It was my bitter fear that derived from an unloving father that turned his back on my mother and I when we needed it the most.
I hate him just as much as I love him.
How sad it is to be anything at all.
If I ever decide to jump again, you ought to let me fall.