Studdering, stammering, but still softly laughing,
My mouth cannot formulate the correct feelings
Or even the right idea
Of the things I want to tell you,
and the things I want to hear.

I'm sorry my voice lacks such confidence,
I just never really felt like this,
What a blabbering fool I must seem to be.

Not only because of you and me,
but you see--
My heart governs my mind
and at the right times,
I can't seem to produce any sort of sentence,
I can't seem to shake that sickness.

I'm sorry if I seemed so brash,
When I came to you the night after last...
It wasn't my intentions and now you play your defenses,

All I really want is a smile,
and to feel like it's worth my while.
I hope that isn't too much to ask,
but given the past...

I understand that your wings feel clipped,
I understand that you're probably scared shitless.

I've seen your wall, and I've stood at the gate,
wondering when it will finally break.
For now, I'll just sit here patiently;
Holding my breath almost effortlessly
Because I have no idea what I want right now, honestly.
(I'm just not into playing games)

But if you lean in close enough, I'm sure you will see
I still get nervous when your name flashes on my screen,
Sometimes I still get butterflies, and you leave me weak at the knees.
And I know that's a lot to muster,
but I also know I've got a lot to break,
and I am keeping that part of me hidden and sealed,
while giving you blind faith.

But I know that I am not ready,
to put my guard down at your feet,
I still draw my daggers,
at the first sign of defeat.

There's still a vice-gripped cage,
in between my ribs,
and pardon me for seeming indecisive,
But I, myself, still can't allow anyone in.

I need some affirmation, that you aren't going anywhere.
I really need to feel like you do, honestly, care.
Just remember that I'm just as nervous, and just as scared.
When it comes down to it-- I'm completely unprepared.

If the right words would just bounce,
Off the tip of my tongue,
I wouldn't be sitting here struggling,
Making an effort to avoid the wrong ones.

All I really want to say here,
is that you've made an impact on my life,
and hopefully someday we'll see each other,
In the perfect light.