It hurts to grow sometimes, even when its not physical growth, but internal spiritual growth.
It hurts because we have to let go of people and places,  
and of ideas and wishes that just no longer serve a purpose in our lives.
I equate these growing phases to the way a snake will shed its skin,
or the way the mystical phoenix burns to ashes, only to be re-born again.
I often feel like a caterpillar withdrawing from everyday movement in the external world
and burrowing in to my self made cocoon, while I transform and complete another internal metamorphosis.
It gets cramped and dark in there, but the rewards received when I emerge
are some of the most beautiful rewards I could hope for.

I’m coming out of the cocoon again; stretching my wings… lifting my head to the sun.
He brought me to it, and He always brings me through it.
I can smile again and mean it, I can feel strong inside and feel a sense of accomplishment.
I’m getting there by the grace of something so much bigger than myself and even though it hurts sometimes, nothing worth having ever comes without at least a little sacrifice.
04/30/09