I wish I never had to write
Pain never consumed me
To the point where my fingers
Spill lightning onto paper
Because my heart pounds like thunder
Making my mouth unable to speak these words
That I am only compelled to write on paper
A storm I never wanted to ever feel
Ever.
A storm I promised I’d never have to bow my head to
Or brace myself against the winds
A storm that screams so loud that I cannot
And that I cannot breathe
For fear of bringing more of that storm into my body
To shake my soul like a boat on the tide
Capsize it and sink it
Deep to the bottom
To fall and fall
Where it’s a relief to hit the bottom
So only it could stop
Yet unlike that ship my soul
Has to suffer twice
Swimming back up and still drowning
Eternally searching for that spot of light
That spot of hope
That is still far after when my pen leaves the paper
Only slightly relieved