I know you see the pain 
 Searing threw my veins
You see the hurt
Tearing at my heart
The tears 
That secretly escape me
The ones you don't catch
But I know u can tell
Looking in my eyes
You can see the sadness
Everything I've went threw
I know you try to understand it
You try your best
To help me
But I push you away 
I'm sorry I do it
It's hard to let u stay
Ive created this girl
Who dosent need help
I'm fine on my own
I can do it by myself
Just try to understand
I push u away 
Not because I want too
I want u to stay
Its because I need to
In case one day 
You leave me 
Like mom did
She promised she would stay
Promises are broken
And I hope one day
It won't be you
To treat me that way
It's out self defense
I'm sorry to say
I want to let u in 
I want u to stay
I feel so vulnerable
Crying in front of you
But I need to be strong 
So it might stay this way 
Hopefully it changes soon