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Sunny Johnson
Poems
Sep 2011
Disoriented
I'm opening my eyes,
I'm perking up my ears
I'm lifting up my nose,
I'm holding in the tears
I'm opening my hands
I'm reaching out to see
It's getting hard to stand
I've never been so free
Free of you and free of me
Free of this and all I see
I close my eyes slowly
My breath comes in rolling
Lifting my chest slightly
All this contemplating
Is ever so lightly
Reverberating
Slowly down
Deeply close
All this sound
Is so morose
Before I open my eyes
Can you promise me something
That I'll never hear you lie
Can you hear my heart drumming
May I see you for who you are
And not who you put on to be
May you be that thing so far
Away from all it is I see
May I never have to open
My eyes to see you that again
The old house we built is broken
My solitude may never end
It is time to build something new
Something that will stand so true
And hold us both and then you'll see
That you too my friend can be free
I promise you today
That if your tongue will stay
I can show you more
Than you've seen before
And as we continue on this path
Weaving something, hard to graft
I tell you it will last us long
Longer than the endless song
The one I hear when I see you,
Without the talking, just so true
As to show me more than words can say
And carry me somewhere today
Somewhere you have forgotten long
The melody to a drifting song
Coming from a far off place
Losing strength, losing pace
When I reach for you and hold
Your face in my hands I'm sold
But when it is all just up to you
Things start falling deep into
This endless chaos I feel right now
Is more than I can feel somehow
And when I'm happy you aren't here
To see that there is naught to fear
When all there is, is more than enough
Smoothing the face of once a rough
Mountainside made of stone
This sea has washed away the one
The one thing that I may have held
Closely to that drumming heart
May these words just be felt
For not an ending but the start
The start to something real and raw
Something breathing, pounding slowly
All of this, not what I saw
But what lives in me and is now growing
Like a sprout from winters ground
It has taken such a profound
Place in my heart a shining warmth
And never again will you feel torn
Never again will things just blur
When people talk as their words slurr
Just close your eyes and remember
That little sprout from that December
The part of me left cold and lifeless
Is now reaching out and making this
More than gold or something priceless
More than all that was, can be, or is
My eyes elude me as do you
May you both forget this sleuth
Someone who has found the truth
Lifting from all death a youth
You're face is made of frozen clay
Still it's not all I've to say
To be alone is to live
To stay with you is to give
My life for something small and fragile
My strife for someone falling and I'll
Never tell you yes, I say
Especially not today
Now you're gone my mind is free
The calm after a storm you see
Is better than the calm before
And more inviting still for sore
Hearts that float among debri
They may be gone but now they're free
And if it takes my heart to stay
I'll never do it, oh no way
I'll close my eyes and run away
Written by
Sunny Johnson
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