Dreams are supposed to be were you feel safe and peace full. Not where you are attacked by the invisible and only the felt. That room is kine, where i sleep - a restful place. Where now i am weary to go and lay my head. i dont know this place my fear comes from. It haunts me and i can't leave it. But I have to be there, for this is my resting place, where thoughts down on paper - my hiding place. I'm afraid I'm  not alone in its inhabitance. Where it comes from I don't know. And how it has power over me, I am not sure. But i do know that i am not okay with its excistance, and i will not stand for it. i will fight whatever it is when the time arises. but whos to say when that will be. i just pray that dear God you will give me the strength to concur this thing, a monster i last felt creep up on me. there is a physical jailment now and i cant not beat it it feels. a haunting feeling is over me when i enter the room, like i have interrupted something and am now being punished for it. but i do not know what it is or who o am interrupting. where can i find it. it feels so far away like i have already missed out on it. so how can i find it and get it back? i dont know but i feel as though this isnt over, and i am anxious to see when next time will be.
                        9/23/10