you say you see my light
is it behind my eyes
or hidden in between my crooked teeth
does it seep out through the scars
littering my arms
the constant paper cuts on my finger tips
does it crawl out through the paper fine
skin i tear off my lips
or do i bite off my light when i
chew my nails down to the quick
does the light hide behind my cuticles
and i the only reason why i can’t see them
is because they are hidden by the blood
of the skin being stretched back too far
does my light hide in my little toes
or is it hidden behind my smile
the one place i wouldn’t think to look

you say you see my light
and i have scoured my body
fully clothed and naked as a jaybird
with my failing eyes
with and without my glasses
sometimes being blurry is better than the
harsh light of a new days reality
and i want to run away
but my flaws
they leave a bright
burning black and blue and indigo
trail behind me
and it pains my heart and soul to see
that the brightest part of me
is all of my
insecurities

you say you see my light
and i wonder why that is
are your eyes bad as well
are they as bad as mine
do they see other things too
like the knuckle shaped bruises
the scratches from last night’s nightmares
the shaking hands
and the scars
so many **** scars
but your eyes see only beauty
and i think you see it in me too
though i don’t know why
this is a notion i cannot conceive
maybe you’re just saying that to make me
feel better
but i know you’re too kind to tell such a lie

you say you see my light
and i can’t help but to wonder if
i manage to shine even half
as bright as she did
but that’s selfish of me
it is a terrible character flaw of mine
i just want someone to see past my
proverbial rain cloud
and the darkness i shroud myself in
though my clothes may be bright
my soul and heart are dark
and i just want to be a bright light
like a star
but instead i am like
an abyss
i **** all the light in
and give nothing back
i am a greedy boy
a greedy black hole
please fill me up
with your light

you say you can see my light
and i cried when i saw that comment
don’t think that was your intended reaction
but i have always been rather emotional
a ***** boy
a girly boy
a crybaby
but you say you see my light
and i am trying to believe you
i really am
but it is so hard
all these loud negative thoughts
they invade my mind
dance and scream and *****
me with pins behind my eyes

you say you can see my light
and if i were an angel
all my grace would have run out
i pour my light into other people
and keep none for myself
i am a burnt out husk
but you still make me feel beautiful
please i beg of you
take your weathered old hands and pry open
my eyelids
make me see the light
help me to look in a mirror
and not hate what i see
help me to see my light
i want to see it

you say you can see my light
and i am trying my hardest to
believe you