Here I stand down by your window
Your curtains closed
I can here your music, its to loud for me to hear anything else
I have no idea who's in your room
It could be your mom
It could be anyone in your family
They all hate me
You could be completely alone
You could be with him
My heart racing i tap on your window
The music stops
The world goes dead silent
Everything slows down as the curtains start to move
I can hear my heart beat in my head
I can feel the blood in my veins pumping through my body
Then i see your face
Everything gets ten times worst
My head feels like my eardrums are about to pop at the sound of my heartbeat
Everything gets blurry
My chest feels like i'm going to its being ripped open
I get so light headed i'm about to fall down
I put my hand on the window
It freezing cold
A tear falls from my eye
The first time i cried since before our anniversary
The window gets warmer
I look up to see why
You put your hand on mine
My chest stops hurting
I can hear something other than my heartbeat
My eyes still blurry from my tears
I tell you "I love you
I want you to remember my last words"
You start to cry
I give you an address a date and a time
I look you in the eyes and tell you one thing
Trust me
Pull out a gun
And i end the pain
One month later on December 25 you go to the address
Its 5:47 in the morning
Your at an old tree house, my old tree house
You go to the door there is no door *** just a hole And three locks
Its pitch black inside the house
You see a piece of paper nailed to the door
A note
It says "put your hand in... if you trust me"
Your hesitant
You start to crumble the piece of paper as you try to think of what you do
As your crumbling the piece of paper you see that there are words on the other side
It says " I want you to remember my last words"
My last word, trust me
You take a deep breathe as you put your hand in the hole
You feel something
You grab it and pull it
Its a key
A key to the door
You open the door as you do you hear something fall
Its a flash light
You pick it up and look around the room
You the room appears empty
Then you see a composition book taped to the celling
The title says closet with smaller word under it, too small to read at the distance
You try to jump to get it
An hour past and you still able not been able to get it
Finally you think
You go to the closet and you find a step-stool
You grab the book and read the first page
It says  under your height
It takes you a while but you find out what it means and look under the step stool
you fine 6 more books taped to the bottom their numbered
Your read the first page of each
They all say what their about
Ones all my secrets
Ones about all my life  
Three is a journal that i wrote in every day since we were together
The last one was about you and all of my feelings towards you
On the back i a piece of paper
It says " I'm sorry i'm gone. I wish i could be there with you right now. I wish i didn't have to do all this, but i am, and theres so much i want to say to you. so much i wish i took the chance to, but i didn't so i did all this as an attempt to tell you in death what i wish i had in life. I love you, don't forget me". One more thing if i could do it all again no matter how much pain I would end up in I would do it again".