I did it again.  I made an empty promise,  to someone I don't care for,  or barley know.   But yet I still flung my body towards him without a second thought.  Some would feel ashamed and others would not,  but I am on the boarder line of feeling ashamed or to not.  I can't say I wouldn't do it again but yet I tell myself I would.  I am just craving the affection,  craving that warmth.  Even after the 15 minutes of so called "love"  you can't fill the void of loneliness.  You will never get that true beautiful warmth deep down in your tummy knowing that you made love to someone who sees more beauty in you then you ever will.  Someone who cares not just about making love to your body but deep down to your soul.  Someone you can fall apart to in there arms and know they still love you. I am not sure why I keep filling my head with these lousy fantasies that something will come from these empty promises. But it needs to stop. Maybe next time?