Last night I knew what God felt like. I felt his position on the throne with the infinite before him and then I knew him,
his sorrow from the fall of the one he loved because it became mine to bear.

Remember what he said to God before he left he said
"I love you too much, I cannot give you anymore than this."
is that why we are here?
Am I now to know what it feels like to be loved too much?

I pity God now.

I've been sitting here with time to **** at this point it's the only thing not dead.
Sit in this room with my heavy head and empty prayers to a existence I have created so I can sleep. I'll scream to the ceiling pretending you can hear.
Try to get what it meant
what it meant
What it meant
Ask that question so much but purpose is lost when you forgot the talks and walks and the times in that ******* bedroom with a lack of our stupid ******* socks.
Do you remember what it felt like to touch the skin but feel the soul?

But I still want to know what it meant
What did he mean
What did you mean
What was the purpose in the choice that bound us for ruin,
no me for ruin because you're okay but I'm not like I said I would be.
Still okay doesn't mean okay anymore it was lost in the depths of emotions torn.
We aren't okay although to everyone that isn't you and me
we are okay.

And I guarantee I'll fall for you again every second of every day
but that the problem is I'm falling and you didn't no wont catch me

it's not your fault when you can't catch what doesn't exist.
And if that doesn't exist then neither do I.
You used to say
"I just exist",
I get it now because the difference between existing and living is the beating of a heart and now like I said
Time is the only thing left to die.

this heavy heart of mine
This heavy heart of mine