Is it worthy? I asked
and truly meant - I
of such broad company
such grace in unsaid meaning and
interpreted thought
like scent on breeze, I am     reminded
of childhood aspirations
sponge like and decadent
to question
challenge
behold (en)
translucent
my id
in pigtails, hand upstretched to the
cookie jar
gleeful.

I blink - No.
I am Woman now
or so I should be
and stare, transfixed on the tile
eyes s l i d i n g s e e i n g ...
I remember what this feels like
I do - but the pen pauses
falters
Oh! the giving was so easy then
an abundant fountain
pure sweet
lilac & moss and then

No.
anger red heat rolling through
my gut
seared through
steaming memory -
this cannot be
scorched earth
baked clay, and my fingers will not
caress sweet soil when
scentless rock endears
nothing to me.
The recurring silence
had driven me to
apathy...

Yet now the air thins
I remember
the tangible
am I ready to give?
crouched low to the ground
give me
strength
wisdom
energy - to rise,
heat broils sweat in my eyes
or are they tears? -
flex, uncurl these fists to
mighty weapons of infinite power
and rise
heavy, leaden
with depth & purpose
so exposed
but divine with sweet understanding
complex thought
dusty breath caught - paused
and the liquid sky simmers above the
haze and filth
I reach
heat like honesty lashing at
my vision & thought
the deep pulse - heartbeat
ashes
at my feet

pause, inevitable.

so close!
fluorescent silhouettes
draw doubt
It cannot be
I’m not ready
to give
where is that innocent joy?
beyond double meanings
deliberate
unintentional
cruel device
eyes of steel - unblinking, omnipotent

I covet my prose
-a secret clutched to my heart,
hoarding it like gems
like desire and lust
to give
these thoughts ink
and substance
the ground keeps me close

I blink.

am blinded in the heat
of such fervent need
for release
beginning, rebirth
I remember how this feels
so sweet and pure
the need is
intoxicating
spun sugar
silver moonlight
on an ocean of
unsaid self

I rise - the Phoenix - I am
She. I am She
fleeting growing changing
veins are vines
burgeoning patterns on
unfurled wings scream
gold and blazon crimson
blood in the tears I have shed
sweet purpose - my only melody
gives me hope.

I take her tiny hand in mine
and am risen
                        once more.