"i've been down a minute and i've been trying to find my way home"
everything changed. i've lost everyone. or almost. dad who used to be my adviser is away and busy and i can't upset him with my stories right now he'll get worried about me and he and mom are don't need anymore trouble right now. i may have to change schools for my own sake but i don't want to leave the one im already in. it's a hard thing to explain but my school is my environment that ******* place ***** you in with all these cliques and groupes and "friends" it's where i belong and don't belong at the same. i want to stay close to chalbi he's kind of a piece of sanity in that crazy *******. am i in love with him? or am i trying to make myself believe that because khalil is gone and i don't have anybody to love now? what about bahe? he loves me. what the **** is wrong with me? i want someone i can love and who doesnt love me back! what the ****?!!!! i am ****** up n im sick of it and i wish people would give me a break. its either stay in the **** hole of a school with all the fake ******* and old friends and uncomfort but be at home or start off fresh in a new place and work hard because if i dont step up my game at school for this year and the next im for sure ****** but close to chalbi.....