Putting it mildly,
Sleep has discarded me.
My once restless nights have
Turned to now restless days,
And in ways I guess this is the better than sleeping…
In sleep I know I would only find myself
Dreaming about you.
Getting caught up in the fiction
That my mind has so kindly made up for me,
Because in reality,
I know that things wouldn’t be so great.
Things would be problematical,
Complicated,
Intricate.
Sleep is nothing if all I do is dream about you,
Because having you in my dreams isn't good enough for me,
I want to hold you in the embrace that I have mastered in the time that you were gone,
Kiss you in a way that you will remember every time you smell my perfume,
And love you in a way that I know you will never find again…
If left in just my dreams
Soon enough you'll just turn to another
Monster lurking in the corridors of my heart.
Knocking on the doors of our memories,
Unlatching the caged demons in my soul,
Baby things have gone a bit out of control here.
Skies that were once baby blue
Have turned to a new shade of depression,
Oppression,
You held me down.
Scratch that,
We held each other down in power struggle.
While I added bittersweet delirium to your life,
You put faultless certainty into mine.
I found that with you…
Things don’t have to make sense.
They can be messy and
Perplexing
And confusing,
And it will only add to the beauty of the situation.
But I still do not want to dream about you.
I fear what dreadful panorama my mind will paint me every night,
If it will be Romeo & Juliet
Or Harley Quinn and Joker…
The confusion of what will happen
Breaks me apart
Yet I can't help but want to start this all over again.
Go through the motions with you till you
You fracture my heart
Split it in to a new galaxy
Where pieces of my heart become stars.
Where monsters in the hallways won't scare me
And I am still free to be in love with you.
You captivate me like no one ever has,
Inevitably you are my Picasso.
Taking my heart and squeezing the life from it till its dry,
Using my blood as your paint
My heart your new paint brush.
As you create a portrait
Of what Love looks like,
And when you do
All you will paint
Is two people sleeping.
One in his bed peacefully asleep,
And the other,
Restlessly awake,
Afraid to start dreaming again.