The smell of smoke and the way my bones  ..
My bones act like burning branches or ..bridges
I tend to abandon places that remind me of myself and people
only call to ask where I've been at lately... we showed up late to church until we didn't show up anymore I've been looking for god ever since , and I do this thing where I hold my hands to tight together when I pray at night
I've been letting go , I promise ..
I don't even ask dad to call when he has a chance
...he still writes me letters
And after I read them I notice they're stained with his tears .. Or maybe min-"or maybe I'll be home soon "
"Why don't you ever write to me ? "
... Dad the same reason it gets hard to talk to god sometimes
  I promise you I won't forget you exist though , I'm sorry ..
For being selfish but I've learned to love people the way you did ,

Its funny you told me I sound a lot like mom now and I don't know if you heard her tears caught in the back of my throat ..dad I sound a lot like home