I've been showing up in empty seats reservated for two lately I've been looking for reasons to show up at my own dinner table as empty as the living room lately I've been trying to iron my shadow out of my sweatshirt in the morning I won't ever understand how some people can leave it wrinkled on their sleeve and let their heart hang its self with their ***** laundry see my heart has learn to sufficate even I wonder what its breath sounded like before it new plastic bags existed , I've been asking god , how many purple flowers grow in heaven and how they learned to live without oxygen , you know hope is a lot like air it gets hard for me to breath some nights sometimes I feel my lungs collapsing with all the prayers Ive been letting rest on my chest , like condolences left on graveyard tombstones I  wiped the dirt off of someone's name and finally thought of my own , I don't know why you thought I would forget yours if all I've been doing was finding ways to put it in all these poems hoping you wouldn't notice , the worst part is writing about you , I keep drowning myself in waterfalls you made for me cause they always look beautiful from a distance , I went looking for you inside of them and you weren't even there but the kind of artist you were rubbed off on me now everyone's wondering why my poems sound like sad love songs or letters written that start sounding like desperate phone calls after you get use to leaving voicemails even apologizes apologize for not sounding to sincere , I know your "sorrys" are just as bitter as my forgiveness and the taste of your name can't even stomach its self anymore ,