Thank you for calling
John Kaffezakis.
He is currently out,
Probably lost somewhere.
He is kinda busy
Finding his way
Right now, and
He'll likely be out,
Floating in space,
For the entirety
Of known time.
So

If you are calling
As a courtesy
Or because you feel
That you have to,
Please leave your *******
And don't call again.
He will never get back to you
With appreciation of your fallacy.

If you are calling
For guidance/slash/help,
Leave your name,
Number and issue
And John will be glad
To get back to you
As soon as possible.
Because your problems
Seem to take less effort
To solve than his own
And he likes seeing you happy.
But

If you are calling
Because you want to see him
Because you want his company,
Do not leave a message;
Get off your lousy phone;
And see him face to face.
He's out in the world
Doing the things he loves
And he happily shares that
With all his good friends

Beep