I feel rage inside of my chest
Like the air is aggressively trying to escape my lungs
As if they just got into a fight with the walls again
My knuckles are strawberry red and glistening like the ghosts of our past
I am constantly reopening battle wounds that should not have even been touched since he went away.
I grow tired each and every morning by pathetic prayers of you returning or for just once someone to show up on my doorstep and not be like you
To not... Lead me through meadows and babbling brooks
Only to tell me that there are piranhas in the water
I want so badly to be held
Like how my grandmother carefully holds knitting needles as she works away
I want to be missed like forgotten swing sets miss the laughter of tiny children, who have grown too big and no longer visit
I want to stop be so ******* different from everyone else
Maybe if I start acting like everyone else
If maybe I can grow out my hair and wear the same brand on my jeans as everyone else,
Maybe I can fit it.
I keep telling myself  "you are you, and who ******* cares if people are different. Who ******* cares if people don't like you voicing your opinions. Who ******* cares about anything small and superficial. WHO ******* CARES ABOUT THAT STUPID BOY THAT PUSHED YOUR SELF ESTEEM TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SOCK DRAWER?"
I should stop reading poetry at night to people who toss the words in the trash.
I should stop reading poetry to boys who try to pretend they are into me only to **** me over.
I am so angry and this is so ******.
So goodnight.