trolling my dear daughter
on facebook
estranged daddy acting more like a stalker
than just absent
I see my eyes in cold pictures –
She is to be 16 soon
and when she was 5 I held her on my lap
uncertain and untrusting
her reservations about me
were totally founded –
I look upon her with love and fear
not brave enough to reach out
knowing that I can never be my best
so long as this remains unresolved
pacing while sitting in an office chair –
the universe has a funny way of presenting the things
we would choose to avoid
at the most inopportune times…
seemingly…
but in reality,
it is always perfect and divine;
the order in which things are laid…
what’s more
our souls chose these paths before birth
lining up challenges and experiences
that it needs in order to continue its evolution
to Christ consciousness….
So I shouldn’t worry
or pay any mind whatsoever
to this longing emptiness in my heart
as it is
and was
part of my plan
from day one –