My nose is sniffing
Back air breezed nights to sleep while
My arm goes numb;
Numb as death!
Shake it off! Wake it up!
Making obeisance to my restless findings before
Leaving them at the pier.

No silence In my soul only
A yodeling, fierce as a bruise,
Sounding similar as drowning
Infants crying for help.
I'm so like an orphan...
Does he love me and
Is he certain?

Do my *****-soaking in ash-bitten dawns arise
From a need for pleasure..?
Or maybe-
Out of an endless hunger?
I remember feeling human,
But now I am magnified!
Saddened by life and
Its incoherent dribble in my skull.

Forgotten sigil's of peace
Or love or war,
Or that thing mistaken as peace or
Love or war: Desire!
Swelling till its
Broken glass In abdomens;
Liken it to freckled sunshine
Through blinds on drunken binge mornings
And I'm not so quiet...
( Not still yet...)

I'm racing around tracks in my
Wavering mind...
Like quicksilver.
I'm laid bare as bones on pedestals,
Memories juxtaposed; my lips trembling and
Saying words without comprehending...
Mechanical;
Not one conversation bringing comfort of mind to me.

Punching erosion's  into barren walls
Just to awaken a feeling
Of vitality-
That does not seem to exist anywhere;
That Isn't in anyplace I go!
I weep dewdrops of gardenia and  
Spew lost-caused visions before my time;
Misplaced as shadows in spring

I breathe....I whisper.....
Having secrets.
Volcanoes inflamed, dashing asunder
In his eyes!
(Which I can take-In like photographs-
Like Picasso paintings, almost. )
Gazing into my pain
Like a petal gathering rain;
Red-blue sirens In the drench'ed Earth.

I tried, I failed. But I
Still live and I still prevail!
Shot down In beguiling
Visions, (on tea leaves)
Lye's my mission; Unknown.
Felt like a wind on the curb where
We sit like a
Voice only I conceive of-
And its going to be all alright, I reckon after all.