He felt alive, moved by his own depression. The sadness that allowed him a check and balance. He made amends with his past long ago under the condition it pop up every once in a while to say hello. He told it to take it slow and let the feeling truly sink into his thoughts and the pain it brought dressed as those he cherished. When all else failed, he couldn't help but smile. Smile at the sadness that would never leave his side. Ironically, the thought of sadness made the sadness die.