I think to every moment of pointless effort I put into my existence and walk across a courtyard of darkness looking at statues of the twisted mockeries my life could have become. I need stimulus to feel happy but each time I do I become less sensitive to my reality and lose grip of who I want to be. I demonize those who show me attention, yet I seek it in the darkest places amidst my despair. My life is nothing more than a loop.