my mother
she makes my teeth chatter
she gives me chills
and not the good kind
all down my spine
a roiling in the pit of my stomach
right in the middle of my being
i can feel her there
sinking teeth and claws into my tender flesh
she so easily rips me aside
tears me asunder
i just want her to be proud of me
but i’ve forgotten how to be loveable
i don’t know how to make her proud of me
it is a losing battle
when she doesn’t even love or accept me
i don’t know what to do
she stomps on my fragile psyche
she makes me want to die
i just need
selfishly want
my mother to love me
why can’t
why won’t
she love me