Jul 2015
Where do I begin?
Liar?
Controlling?
Unrealistic expectations I can never hope to reach?
The jealously written on your face?
I swear with you, I never know where to begin.
My blood boils at the thought of you,
calling yourself a mother,
when you don't even know the meaning of the word.
The ***** donor you refer to as my biological father,
may have been a ******* on ****,
but you know what?
He didn't threaten to **** me as an embryo whenever he didn't get his way.
As a matter of fact, he "saved" me from you,
upon multiple occasions.
All I am to you is a game piece,
and you play those little games with everyone around you.
I'm not human to you, I never was.
I tend to punch walls whenever I think about the fact that you actually lied to ME, for attention.
So that'd I'd feel bad for my poor, poor, mother
....and continue to care for the three younger unwanted kids.
God, that jealously is probably the thing I like about you best.
After all, it's the only "positive" thing I ever get from you.
You have no idea how good it feels to not only one up you,
but to get to watch and study how your face changes,
the way you glare at everything you want,
I know you want a 32DD bra size.
I know you want large green eyes.
I know you want wide hips, and young, firm, skin.
Thing is, I'm not even that attractive,
the thing you envy most,
is how happy you've seen me be around people I actually like.
Unlike you, I'll tell anyone to **** themselves, I'll surround myself by people I actually like, and I know how to play instruments, and they bring me more joy than you'll ever feel.
Unlike you, I don't lie and control everyone I meet, I stay honest, and don't **** around like that.
You may have drilled it into my head so deep that I need to be perfect.
And yeah, it destroys me every time I look in a mirror, or **** up, or remember things and obsess over them as they play over and over in my head like a broken ******* record.
I guess you win that round huh?
However, please realize, I see through your every facade, every mask, you're ******* transparent to me.
I know what you are.
You will always be vulnerable to me, you will always be naked, without a hard shell for protection.
I and believe me, I will NEVER stop reminding you.
I'll never stop picking you apart, like a crow on carrion.
I will be your own personal hell.
And I'll enjoy every moment of it.
Liar?
Controlling?
Unrealistic expectations I can never hope to reach?
The jealously written on your face?
I swear with you, I never know where to begin.
My blood boils at the thought of you,
calling yourself a mother,
when you don't even know the meaning of the word.
The ***** donor you refer to as my biological father,
may have been a ******* on ****,
but you know what?
He didn't threaten to **** me as an embryo whenever he didn't get his way.
As a matter of fact, he "saved" me from you,
upon multiple occasions.
All I am to you is a game piece,
and you play those little games with everyone around you.
I'm not human to you, I never was.
I tend to punch walls whenever I think about the fact that you actually lied to ME, for attention.
So that'd I'd feel bad for my poor, poor, mother
....and continue to care for the three younger unwanted kids.
God, that jealously is probably the thing I like about you best.
After all, it's the only "positive" thing I ever get from you.
You have no idea how good it feels to not only one up you,
but to get to watch and study how your face changes,
the way you glare at everything you want,
I know you want a 32DD bra size.
I know you want large green eyes.
I know you want wide hips, and young, firm, skin.
Thing is, I'm not even that attractive,
the thing you envy most,
is how happy you've seen me be around people I actually like.
Unlike you, I'll tell anyone to **** themselves, I'll surround myself by people I actually like, and I know how to play instruments, and they bring me more joy than you'll ever feel.
Unlike you, I don't lie and control everyone I meet, I stay honest, and don't **** around like that.
You may have drilled it into my head so deep that I need to be perfect.
And yeah, it destroys me every time I look in a mirror, or **** up, or remember things and obsess over them as they play over and over in my head like a broken ******* record.
I guess you win that round huh?
However, please realize, I see through your every facade, every mask, you're ******* transparent to me.
I know what you are.
You will always be vulnerable to me, you will always be naked, without a hard shell for protection.
I and believe me, I will NEVER stop reminding you.
I'll never stop picking you apart, like a crow on carrion.
I will be your own personal hell.
And I'll enjoy every moment of it.
