Anyone been hit by a car recently? No? Okay, just making sure.

You know, I was feeling sorry for myself recently, but then I realised, You know what. You should never ever complain because somebody somewhere has it worse than you. So hey, relax, don't **** yourself. Kyle down the street just lost his left ******* in a house fire, **** him instead.
Has anyone ever said that to you though?  After a show once some guy came up to me, put his hand over my shoulder and said, I swear to god he said this, he said 'You still have legs'
And It took me be surprise. I looked down and I thought, thank god. THank God I'm not as ******* STUPID AS THIS GUY.
nah but really
There are countries full of children starving to death. I know you've seen the adverts, even though you change channels when there on. So I think of it like this, America annd Russia have a load of nukes they dont know what to do with, and there are countries full of people in misery. You thinkin what im thinkin... Thats right. We donate the nukes to charity and with the money we buy everyone shoes, goodnight!