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An Apology of Sorts

*Didn't it sound a lot like something

He said a long time ago?

Now it makes sense

Dripping from honey lips*

 

I lowered the box into the ground

Empty but only I knew as much

Nothing to see, nothing to touch

My own heart was buried deeper down

 

Looking up I saw you shed a tear

For all I was laying to rest

Was to you a memory blessed

A short respite, the re-emergence of fear

 

Or maybe I had it wrong

You could have known all along

I could have been the one deceived

Or maybe I only thought you believed

 

Step back

She sings the Mantra

Let her finish

Before we continue

 

*Hare Krishna ¥ Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna ¥ Rama Rama

Hare Rama ¥ Hare Rama

Rama Rama ¥ Krishna Krishna*

 

I could tell you reasons for what I've done

Before the passion flamed

I dreamed her naked, unashamed

Innocent as the day was young

 

I thought it was love that drove me on

Even when the snake bared it's fangs

Injected it's venom of change

Convinced my compassion was strong

 

Now I know that it can't be forgiven

The arrows pierce you from behind

Weaker still your weakened mind

And contaminate your imagination

 

Stole a page from God's playbook

I'm sorry, my old friend, that you fell

But I have ****** myself to hell

Just one page was all it took

 

*this end is for me even more than it is for you

the fog in the forest is still sickly thick

and you can't see the forest for the trees

I dragged it out for too long

but I know your ignorance is blissful and I don't blame you

I'd do the same thing if I were in your shoes*

 

It was my own guilt that stopped me cold

Made me think twice of what I'd done

I know you'd just soon it go on and on

(And on and on)

But seeing you so often demeaned is getting so very old

 

•••••••••••••

 

Cry when you hear the song

Crying is often the best thing to do

Break down for an hour, in the back of your mind

Know it gets better when the grieving is through

Don't take anything she said for granted

She felt she had good advice

But you gotta let it work

Learn how to pray

Build a fortress around your mind

Evict the rogue voices

 

*"This is rebirth

The hardest word

Held under water

This is death

I'm out of breath

Held under water"

           - Dustin Carpenter

            "Held Under Water"

             (big sleep., 1988)*

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Written by
james-arthur-casey
American
Published
Jul 20, 2015
Lines·Words
71·433
Permission

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