In the moments before my death,
the horn will be muted.
          fear and guilt
an abandoned home,
being erased in darkness,

yet all I can feel now
is the ecstasy of this moment

specific cruelties   every day
and then
a lover pulled you
left on the curb
roots exposed brown and blonde
I planted you down 
massaged you on
  
No one ever told you it's okay to cry
and laugh at the same time

‘lover’ she said,
‘how long can ecstasy survive?'