And I left you even though my bones, heart and soul didn't quit agree with my actions and I stay up every single night with a bottle of something alcoholic by my bed and a full pack of cigarettes under my pillow just in case I do fall asleep by an accident and dream of you, then I can jolt awake with the realization that I left you and I can drown my stomach with so much alcohol that I drink myself into a drunken paralyzation so I can't run to you in the middle of the night so you can make it all better

I'm so tired of thinking of the reasons why you did it
I'm done with blaming myself for what you did and putting myself down and shaming myself thinking that I wasn't good enough for you
I want my heart to know that I was to good for you and you knew that so you cheated to make yourself feel better.