I cam back from a vacation to the beach to find my hometown slightly different, it was as though we had entered a new dimension and tiny things were subject to change in my 5 day absence; such as the color of a sign or someones accent.
Most of all Id say my home makes me feel as though im not home, this place feels like a dream, like im stuck in the matrix or something. Nothing about the way this place makes me feel makes me want to stay, and nothing about it feels natural or right. It brings a rock to the bottom my stomach turning over the assumed reality I supposedly exist in. Every person seems hollower here, like they are not pilots of their own human vehicles, but in fact they are occupants of their human shell, with varying levels of control.
There is no person here that could make me stay at this point. I can only explain it like this, no matter what if the environment is wrong, it outweighs everything else in terms of efffecting your mood. for example, you couldnt have a climactic battle scene be fought in a boutique, it would be heard to look past the soldiers hiding behind dresses no? nobody here can really outshine this thought that this is not my destination. Im set on my course and its not changeable, the destination is happiness and nobody else is required for the voyage, company would be cool, but jump if you dont like how the boat rocks.