my head can be filled with red clouds
with electric sparks in every corner of my skull
with words floating about my conscience
and sentences twisting around my brain
it causes ripples in my psyche
other times, my head is empty
my skull is incapable of breaking,
my brain unable to acknowledge pain
and my cloudy mind condenses into rain
that trickles down to my lungs
I feel numb and unemotional
I feel tired and unchallenged
until the clouds form again
and words wrap around my nerves

a few words are pulled together
as if by a magnetic, chemical force
and i wonder:
Is it better to feel everything
or nothing at all?